Higher Power

by Tracy Jaco

      You are in a fragile state of mind. You tell yourself the next thing that happens is going to push you over your breaking point. You struggle and fight. Fear makes your blood run cold in your veins. Nights drag on and on. You are alone and lonely. But then, you make it through and life is not so bad. Is it by your own will, or are there forces higher than yourself working for your good?

      I remember an instance a few years back when I was face–to-face with the Devil himself—Addiction. While trying to maintain sobriety, I attended several addiction groups centered on a “higher power.” What was that higher power? Was it God, money, self, a rock in the sky? What?

      My meeting times were not focused on the program itself, but on this power, and I decided to talk with people there and find out what was their “higher power.” Sad to say, but only three out of the fifteen I talked to mentioned God. What other “power” could people believe would help them out of addiction?

      I talked with my parole officer and she agreed that I could replace this group with regular worship services.  It was during one of these services that I was baptized, and later realized that God had been with me all along through my struggles—fear, pain, hopelessness, and homelessness—even before I really knew He existed.

            The addiction groups are big on saying, “Once an addict always an addict,” but I beg to differ on this. If I’m always an addict, then how can I move beyond my addiction and heal?  At my baptism I was delivered from all my past sins. Hebrews 4:12 is a constant reminder of this. If I’m always an addict, that makes God a liar. So, who do I choose to believe? The almighty God who created Heaven and earth, who gave His Son for my sins, and Who, at my obedience to Him, forgave all my sins, threw them into the deepest depths of the ocean (Micah 1:17-19), threw them behind His back (Isaiah 38:17), covered them over (Psalm 32:1-2),and remembers them no more (Hebrews 4:12). I choose the God who cannot lie (Hebrews 6:18).

      For those of us who did not grow up “in the church,” these memories may be very fresh, maybe even too fresh when we think about the time before we knew God and what He did on the cross for us. We realize our lives were complicated serving little not-gods of money; pleasure, choosing whatever activities made us feel good at the moment; alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, even food—all caught up in an all-consuming powerful addiction. And let’s not forget the powerful god of self, dragging me down the road of sin with bad choices and consequences.

      Thankfully, all those addictions can be laid at the foot of the cross and we can serve the one true God together with fellow Christians, loving and serving one another as God would have us to as we make our walk towards Heaven. As long as we are here on this planet earth, we must live in the world, but allow God to help us live in the world and not allow the world to live in us.

NOTE:  The scriptures that kept me going through the trying times were 1 Corinthians 10:13; 5:12; 2 Timothy 1:7; Titus 2:11-12; Proverbs 25:28; Galatian 5:19-21; and Jeremiah 17:14.